Some my say that I'm a dreamer...

I woke up this morning, well maybe it was the afternoon, and reflected on my dreams. From what I can remember of this one, wow! This dream was a one of a kind. I dreamed, that when you are dreaming, you are actually “downloading” all of your thoughts and actions for your next day into your brain. It was one of my best dreams, yet at the same time scariest. Seriously, think about the implications of this, if this idea could be proven. “Reality” is nothing more than your senses and the ability to recall events, and not even in a chronological order. Would you think that I was crazy, if I said that the things we do in our daily lives has an effect on our dreams? Of course you wouldn’t because, it feels like we are drawing bits and pieces from our daily lives into our subconscious dreams. So why could it not be the other way around?

Love me or hate me! At least I am me.

No one knows retarded better than me, with the one exception being my best friend Lile. Today, was just about on par for me. I woke up this morning with more or less fragmented memories of the night before, and the distinct memory of putting a pizza in the oven. However, I had no recollection of ever eating it. As I made my way into my kitchen that is shared with 5 other people, whom are equally attached to our oven, there it lay in all of its charred glory. This is truly not the worst mistake I have ever made in my 25 years on this earth, but what really puts the “re” with “tard” here, is that this is the second time this month that this has happened. I have decided that tomorrow I am going to buy food that requires no further preparation other than open and consume.

Damn right Mr. Twain!

Mark Twain wrote a hilarious passage about the difficulties and absurdities (to an englishspeaking mind) of the German language.

... A few remarks about one of the most curious and notable features of my subject--the length of German words. Some German words are so long that they have a perspective. Observe these examples:
Freundschaftsbezeigungen.
Dilettantenaufdringlichkeiten.
Stadtverordnetenversammlungen.
These things are not words, they are alphabetical processions. And they are not rare; one can open a German newspaper at any time and see them marching majestically across the page--and if he has any imagination he can see the banners and hear the music, too. They impart a martial thrill to the meekest subject. I take a great interest in these curiosities. Whenever I come across a good one, I stuff it and put it in my museum. In this way I have made quite a valuable collection. When I get duplicates, I exchange with other collectors, and thus increase the variety of my stock. Here rare some specimens which I lately bought at an auction sale of the effects of a bankrupt bric-a-brac hunter:
Generalstaatsverordnetenversammlungen.
Alterthumswissenschaften.
Kinderbewahrungsanstalten.
Wiedererstellungbestrebungen.
Of course when one of these grand mountain ranges goes stretching across the printed page, it adorns and ennobles that literary landscape--but at the same time it is a great distress to the new student, for it blocks up his way; he cannot crawl under it, or climb over it, or tunnel through it.

HAIKU......Oh Gesundheit

Well for all of the thousands of you that do not know me, I am currently studying in Graz, Austria. I love it here! I came here to brush up on a little German, but I have only seen one midget and she did not look that good. Seriously, she didn' t. In my spare time, I have been writing some haiku in German and thought that the world would be a better place if I shared them with everyone. For those of you who have forgotten everything from your literature classes, a haiku is a Japanese poem that consists of three lines. It is written with 5 syllables in the first, 7 syllables in the second, and 5 syllables in the last. Here is two of my latest auf Deutsch.

Ja ich liebe Bier
Dessen bin ich mir sicher
und das ist Alles

Smack, Smack, Smack, Smack, Smack
Kaugummi macht mich ganz Fett
Schlucht, ich in runter

I did not say they were good, but hey I whattcha gonna do? If anyone has their own haiku, please post them. All languages are accepted and enjoyed. As for the picture, use it for inspiration. Thanks and good luck with the haiku, it is not a easy as it sounds.

Will Blog for Food

Well, I am a first time blogger, long time reader and have finally decided to get my feet wet. Much like cracked out bums did at this fountain in Vienna. My mission statement is to write as much crap that is humanly possible and to present it in a humorous format for all the massive amounts of folks that will be devouring my prose on a daily basis. Enjoy!